Questions And Answers With The LDP

(crossposted on my campaign blog)

A religious group, The Australian Christian Lobby, recently sent out a questionnaire to parties running in the upcoming election on a range of political issues . Many of the questions, predictably, are related to issues considered important by Christians, but they are questions that most people have an opinion on nevertheless.

Go here to read the LDP’s answers to the questionnaire.

Sam Goes To Canberra

I am standing in the seat of Stirling for the LDP.

All political blogging will take place at my campaign site for the near future.

Stupid Videos and Asian Girls in Bikinis will remain here.

ALF Destroys Scientist’s House

More hijinks from these Oxygen Thieves:

An animal rights group says it flooded the home of a University of California, Los Angeles professor who carries out research on monkeys.

The FBI says the Animal Liberation Front is claiming it used a garden hose to flood the house of Edythe London on October 20.

The incident is being investigated as a case of domestic terrorism. The FBI is seeing if it is connected to a June incident where an incendiary device was lighted but did not explode by the car of a UCLA eye disease researcher.

University officials say the flooding caused between $20,000 and $40,000 in damage.

UCLA Chancellor Gene Block says the university complies with federal laws to ensure humane care of lab animals.

Rudd The Recycler

This is just piss funny.

West Coke Eagles

The Chaser’s War on Everything: The West Coke Eagles

Prison Thriller

I’m not sure what it is about The Philippines, but musical talent just seems to come naturally to Filipinos.

Every pub in Asia features a Filipino cover band that can not only perform a huge range of songs at a level equal to or better than the original artist, but dance like Michael Jackson Or Britney Spears while doing it.

I don’t think anybody ever bothered to tell them that those artists actually prerecord their live shows when they need big dance routines.

As you can see by this video, even the dregs of Filipino society have got the gift.

Surely they could have found a better looking Tranny though.

ZOMG Terrorists in WoW

Kevin Zuccato, head of the Australian High Tech Crime Centre in Canberra, says terrorists can gain training in games such as World of Warcraft in a simulated environment, using weapons that are identical to real-world armaments.

And luckily enough for the bill, Youtube has an example of a terrorist training cell in action. I think we can all agree that this guy sounds very suspicious and is likely from some Terrorist country…

Obviously the next Mohammed Atta.

Ridiculous Scare Campaign From The ACTU

One of the most retarded campaigns I’ve ever heard of.

Three low paid American workers on an Australian Council of Trade Unions (ACTU)-funded visit are warning Australians of the dangers of non-unionised workplaces.

ACTU president Sharan Burrow said the three Americans were an example of what Australians could expect in the future.

One of them, Iris Flores, works as a full-time bus driver for $US10.89 ($A12.86) an hour and a part-time cleaner for $US8 ($A9.45) an hour for up to 14 hours a day without annual leave, sick leave or private health cover.

Her daughter works at a restaurant for $US2.50 ($A2.95) an hour.

If this is the best the ACTU can come up with, they should really just disband.

Firstly and most obviously, Restaurant waitresses earn tips in the US, which they do not in Australia. Tips are the majority of their income. If anything, service workers in the US earn more in total than what they do in Australia.

Secondly, they completely ignore purchasing power parity. Everything is simply a lot cheaper in the US. Literally everything. A dollar earned there buys more than it does here.

I learned that concept in year 11 Economics class. Obviously everyone at the ACTU dropped out in year 10.

But How Much Do You Loooooooooooose?!

This is mostly for the benefit of my mum, who is always worried that I’m going to go broke and starve to death.

This graph is money won/tournaments played. Notice the smooooth linearity. Over 5000 tournaments. Which is enough to be statistically significant, I think.

Note to ATO agents! Not To Scale! Windfall Earnings! Please Ignore!

We’ll Boo If We Want To

Australian Cricketers have been told to toe the line:

Don’t boo Murali, pleads Symonds

Andrew Symonds has implored Australian crowds to celebrate the feats of Sri Lankan spin wizard Muttiah Muralitharan if he eclipses Shane Warne’s world record this summer

A quick summation of Muralitharan’s notable feats:

1.) Taken more wickets against Bangladesh than any bowler in test history.

2.) Blatantly cheated for more than 10 years while somehow avoiding being thrown out of the game.

3.) Invented a delivery that is physically impossible to deliver without cheating.

While the second feat is quite remarkable, cheating doesn’t warrant any sort of celebration. Unless you meant a celebratory cry of “No-Ball!” every time he touches it.