Archive for January 16, 2003

Nobody likes the Oath of

January 16, 2003

Nobody likes the Oath of Allegiance. Bloggers have been universal in their condemnation of the Australia Day Committee’s pathetic effort. Being a student of Yobbo culture, I am of the opinion that we already have an oath of allegiance, penned by yobbo bard Rod Marsh.

Southern Cross – Rod Marsh

Under the Southern Cross I stand,
A sprig of wattle in my hand,
A native of my native land,
Australia: You Fucken Beauty!

Simple, evocative and heartfelt, “Southern Cross” says more about being Australian than any politically-correct wankfest ever could.

Cricket News: Darren Lehmann was

January 16, 2003

Cricket News: Darren Lehmann was reprimanded for a racial slur after being dismissed last night. No Details have come out yet; New concerns about world cup matches in Zimbabwe.

Update: Lehmann could be in considerably more trouble now.

“North African Men” – my

January 16, 2003

“North African Men” – my google search turned up some gay porn as well as links to the story. The strangest thing about this story, apart from the increasingly vague euphemisms, is that the police officers conducted the raid unarmed.

No officer involved in the raid was armed, while the murdered policeman and two of the injured officers were not wearing protective clothing, Greater Manchester Chief Constable Michael Todd said.

I am no expert, but if I was going to arrest someone who is planning on murdering people in their thousands, taking a gun along “just in case” seems like a reasonable precaution. Deep down, I can’t fight the fear that this is political correctness played out to its horrible end: “Let’s not take the guns today boys, we don’t want people to think we are oppressing muslims.”

Carmen Lawrence and a flotilla

January 16, 2003

Carmen Lawrence and a flotilla of peaceniks with guitars sailed to the Abraham Lincoln today and demanded to board for a “Weapons Inspection”. One of the protestors penned a song, which he played to the news camera: “No Blood for Oil, No Blood for Oil, No Blood for Oil” which I’m pretty sure could be the next hit for Sheryl Crow.

Unfortunately for Dr Lawrence, the USS Abraham Lincoln refused to allow them aboard. The herd of morons then resorted to trying to annoy them into leaving, by talking nonsense into the marine radio for an hour or two. The whole publicity stunt made me wish that the Lincoln agreed to let Dr Lawrence inspect their torpedos. Up real close.

Blogging this week has been

January 16, 2003

Blogging this week has been slow, mostly due to me drinking a beer that didn’t agree with me (And his many friends). A longer than usual drink after cricket training turned into an evening at The Stamford Arms, where I was lucky enough to run into about 8 sailors from the USS Abraham Lincoln. After a few introductions I went back to their flat for more post-closing time drinking.

Some time around 4:30am I lost my lunch and slunk away home, luckily most of them were asleep by then, so only the stayers were still there to giggle at me. Progress was made though, I learned much about life in the navy, and they learned a lot about cricket. (One of the Americans actually confessed to LIKING cricket, which will probably result in him being reassigned to Canada, or something.)

For guys who are headed for the gulf any time now, they all seemed pretty relaxed and their impression of Australia was pretty positive. Their knowledge of Australian culture has a fair way to go, however. VB was the only full-strength beer available at Casa Americana, leading me to believe that Carmen Lawrence herself filled the drinks orders in another futile attempt to annoy them. Nonetheless, they didn’t seem to suffering too badly from the toxic waste problem in their esky, and are enjoying their time off immensely.

I spent today curled up in the foetal position, and reformatting the hard drive after contracting some bloody email virus. To the tens of people who read my blog, I will resume normal blogging tomorrow. To the fucking idiots who create PC viruses, I hope you die. To Pablo and the boys from the USS Abraham Lincoln, enjoy your stay in WA, thanks for the beers, and sorry about vomiting in your garden!