This Just In: Muslims Try To Kill Some Guy

Conspiracy theorists among us won’t be able to shake the nagging suspicion that fanatical Melbourne supporters Adam and Tony were involved somehow:

An al-Qaeda plot to assassinate mining magnate Joseph Gutnick in Melbourne has been revealed.

Intelligence sources last night confirmed they knew of a terrorist plot to bomb Mr Gutnick’s home in St Kilda before the September 11 attacks on America.

Mr Gutnick, an orthodox rabbi and prominent supporter of right-wing political forces in Israel, was told of the plot by Australian Federal Police in December last year. “It was a surprise and I was frightened,” Mr Gutnick told The Age last night.

He said the plot was discovered during ASIO raids on suspected members of the Jemaah Islamiah terrorist organisation in Melbourne, Sydney and Perth last October.

All jokes aside, can we finally stop bullshitting about how the war in Iraq/Capitalism/US Imperialism/Tim Blair is increasing the chances of Australians being targetted when it is plainly fucking obvious that we are going to be targets no matter what?

Good. Thank You.

Explore posts in the same categories: War

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