I like my Apples RED

Rob Corr commented:

Oh, and your layout is munted — everything is showing up in the left-hand column and 3/4 of the page is blank. I’m using Mozilla 1.3.)

to which Bailz quite rightly pointed out:

Moz is ghey.

Mark elaborated:

It is indeed, bailz, but it’s (Mozilla) the best we’ve got.
Out of the big three for Windows (Moz & Moz-based, Opera, IE & IE-based), Opera is probably the easiest and fastest, but Mozilla is the most feature-rich and standards-compliant. IE sucks donkey balls in any comparison (except the “don’t need to install anything”, thank YOU Microsoft you competition-sucking… ahem).

It’s not coincidence that Rob and Mark are both redder than Bob Brown’s buttcheeks after they’ve received a good caning from Carmen Lawrence.

Some cynical capitalists might argue that IE is the standard, since 95% of page views occur in Microsoft’s glorious window.

Opera’s coders are smart enough to recognise that, and Opera renders identically to IE. Besides which, these “problems” never happen in reverse. If something renders in Mozilla, it renders in IE and Opera too. The reverse is not true.

Where’s the real standard here?

By and large, the only people using Mozilla are those who have an ideological problem with Microsoft. Like Mac Users. And Communists. And by Mac Users I mean “Communists”.

I’m not being unreasonable here. If you are a commie, you are still allowed to read my blog. You are even allowed to read it using Netscape/Mozilla. I’m not going to restrict your freedom!

If you are not a commie, and are using either an Apple Macintosh or a Mozilla broswer on an Intel/Windows PC, you need to ask yourself: WHY?

Apple computers are overpriced, wanky things that have no redeeming features and haven’t had since Photoshop was ported to the PC. They don’t even have any decent games! Sell it to a commie, and buy a cheaper, faster PC. Spend the rest of the cash on Petrol for your Talon and/or Porn. Go Crazy!

If you are a commie, please refrain from mentioning that my site does not work in Mozilla. I have known about it for quite some time. I decided not to change it because I REFUSE TO BE INTIMIDATED BY THE RED MENACE THAT IS THE AXIS OF APPLE

So to recap, the new rules for reading my website:

1. Patriotic Australians (and foreign guests) who believe in free enterprise will do the right thing by uninstalling Netscape/Mozilla and selling any contraband purchased from the Communist NGO “Apple Computer INC”.

2. Communists reading my blog will please refrain from mentioning that my site doesnt work properly in Netscape or I will go McCarthy on your red asses.

3. If, for some insane reason, you are not a communist but still need to use a Mac and/or Mozilla, you will please respect my web site by NOT using Mozilla to view it. If you have both an Apple Mac AND a Wintel PC, my Web Site should only be viewed on the Wintel PC.

I believe these new rules to be quite fair and balanced. This shouldn’t apply to most of you anyway, because 95% of people are decent, upstanding Microsoft users already.

(Communists are bad, btw)

Advertisements
Explore posts in the same categories: Greatest Hits, Technology

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: