Stupid Terrorists

When I first heard about the “72 virgins” justification for blowing up non-muslims, I filed it away in the brain under “more stupid religious bullshit”. Now that I’ve been thinking more about it, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s even dumber than it seems, and here’s why:

Say you do the right thing by Allah, and blow yourself up, killing X number of Jews/Christians/etc. You get to heaven and WOAH! 72 virgins!

Sounds great I know, but when you think about it, how long is 72 virgins gonna last? Assuming you want one every day, you are going to run out of virgins in less than 3 months!

I mean sure, they were virgins when you got there, but after a million years or so, they are gonna be worn out old hags.

If you stayed alive on Earth, rather than dying, you could instead have access to an amount of virgins that is functionally unlimited! After all, there must be millions of virgins in the world already, and more are being born every day.

All you have to do is work hard, make some cash, and then embark on your quest for virgins. As long as you keep moving around from time to time, you will NEVER, EVER RUN OUT OF VIRGINS!

So in summation:

Suicide Bombing = Painful Death, 72 virgins in heaven.

Godless Capitalist = Unlimited number of virgins right here on Earth. Get cryogenically frozen when dying, and brought back to life when science discovers cure for death.

The choice is pretty simple, in my opinion.

Explore posts in the same categories: Greatest Hits, War

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