Bee-Raping Meat Lovers Required

images.jpgIn their fight for the rights of animals, PETA has turned their attention to the plight of oppressed and victimised bees worldwide. When beekeepers aren’t busy blowing smoke in Bee’s homes, they are conducting systematic rape of defenceless Queen Bees:

It is not unusual for larger honey producers to cut off the wings of the queen bee so that she cannot leave the colony, or to have her artificially inseminated on a bee-sized version of the factory farm “rape rack.”

Because most beekeepers don’t get the same amount of pleasure from sexually assaulting the male bees, they resort to similarly sadistic measures to keep boy bees in their place – Callously feeding them the equivalent of Bee-tofu:

Large commercial operations also may take all the honey instead of leaving the 60 pounds or so that bees need to get through the winter. They replace the rich honey with a cheap sugar substitute that is not as fortifying or tasty.

Earlier this year, PETA founder Ingrid Newkirk took time out from freeing the oppressed bees to update her will. As a protest against human consumption of meat, Newkirk wants her leathery old carcass to be cut into steaks and barbecued. (Which would look like this, except uglier)

While it’s not part of my usual diet, I’ll make an effort to be there for the tasting. Given the right recipe, barbecued old hippie probably isn’t that bad. At the very least, it’s better than boiled hippie.

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