We here at A Yobbo’s View have been silent for too long on the forthcoming election of the new Governor of California. It’s time to break that silence and announce our proud endorsement of political newcomer, Mary Carey!
The star of quality flicks such as “Boobsville Sorority Girls” and “New Wave Hookers 8” is demonstrating that expertise in porn translates easily to expertise in politics. Just check out some of these policies:
4. If I?m elected Governor, I will wire the Governor?s Mansion with live web cams in every room. We will create a pay site, and all money collected will go toward reducing the deficit. Californians will get to see their government in action – literally! (Also, we will have people from around the globe helping to pay off our debt, so it doesn?t all fall on the shoulders of Californians.)
Brilliant! But fundraising ventures aren’t the extent of Mary’s policy-making acumen. Check this out:
7. I will coordinate the state?s unemployment and jury systems, so that anyone who applies for unemployment will instantly be called for jury duty. This will save California state and local governments millions of dollars, because we won?t have to pay for jury duty. It will also relieve those with jobs from the stress of serving on lengthy juries.
Only unemployed people on juries! Strange that nobody thought of that before.
Big Arnie had better watch out, especially since he can no longer hold the moral high ground against fuck-flick stars. The always-brilliant The Smoking Gun has unearthed an old interview with Mr. T-100 in which he admits, among other things, to having group sex:
Arnold Schwarzenegger once told a magazine interviewer about participating in an orgy with other bodybuilders, noting that “everybody jumped on” the woman involved and “took her upstairs where we all got together.” The California Republican added that not every muscleman participated in the gang bang, “just the guys who can fuck in front of other guys. Not everybody can do that. Some think that they don’t have a big-enough cock, so they can’t get a hard-on.”
It’s doubtful whether this will hurt him, even as a Republican candidate. This is, after all, California.