The World’s Your Oyster

Bjorn Lomborg has gone on record observing that, for the cost of implementing the Kyoto protocol, developed countries could instead provide clean drinking water for every human on Earth. A noble idea, indeed, and probably a lot more effective than what is on the table.

The Mises Institute estimates that it would cost the U.S. $397 billion by the year 2010 to implement the changes dictated by the Kyoto protocol. Now, I’m no public policy expert, but I think I can find something better than water to spend that amount of money on.

Hookers, for example.

This handy resource estimates the adult male population of the U.S. in 1990 to be around 90 million. By my calculations, this means $4411 for every adult male in the US would be wasted on Kyoto (Or Bjorn’s stupid water).

Now $4411 wouldn’t go far at the current market prices in a rich western country like America. Since the whole idea behind Kyoto is wealth redistribution anyway, it would be more applicable to see what kind of services you’d get for your money in a developing country. For argument’s sake, let’s look at Thailand.

The expat community in Bangkok has compiled this very informative message board, where I have been able to ascertain that an average price for “long time” in Bangkok is about 1000 Baht ($25 U.S.) At these rates, the US government could shout every man in the country a night out with a hot asian babe 176 times instead of some crappy Kyoto plan.

In the 6 year time span alluded to by the Mises Institute, you could space your allottment out at a rate of 29 per year until 2010. That’s more than 1 a fortnight…Kind of like a rostered day off every fortnight and a few extra days over Christmas.

Saving the environment is nice and all, and it makes many westerners feel good about themselves to know they are doing their part. My plan, however, would generate happy feelings many orders of magnitude greater than sticking some pissweak bumper sticker on your car. People won’t have time to start wars, murder each other, or protest against the latest government injustice when they know that Nong from Patpong is coming around for her fortnightly visit tomorrow night.

I think my case is pretty strong, but there are probably a few doubters out there who still prefer Lomborg’s “free water” debacle. Which is best? As they say in Thailand: “Up To You”. Have your say in the comments!

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