Close your ears, Jenna. Daddy doesn’t know what he’s talking about:

We will double federal funding for abstinence programs, so schools can teach this fact of life: Abstinence for young people is the only certain way to avoid sexually-transmitted diseases.

That’s not the only way, you can also shoot yourself in the head! It’s a sure-fire way to prevent STDs. Or, you could just wear a condom and not inject drugs.

Since it seems that a lot of conservative politicians don’t seem to “get it”, let me plug “Abstinence” into the teen dictionary:

Abstinence (noun): The state of being a loser.
Abstain (verb): What losers and parents do.

Also while we’re on the subject, you should also never experiment with alcohol or ride your skateboard without kneepads. It’s the only way you’ll be safe!

Explore posts in the same categories: Politics

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