I’m Cured!

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10 years from now, you’ll go to open your packet of durries and be given a 10,000 volt reminder of the effects of smoking. Until we can raise enough taxes to implement that technology, we’re going to have to make do with these grotesque pictures of festering limbs and dissected organs on the packs.

There’s always been a problem with the anti-smoking TV ads that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. Watching the new ads today on the news, I realised what it is…

If you dissect a perfectly healthy lung on TV during dinner time, it’s still going to make everyone feel fucking sick looking at it! It doesn’t matter at all whether the lung has cancer cells in it or not – it’s still fucking gross.

Hey, if you want to gross us out, why not just show some full motion toilet-cam shots featuring a fat guy taking a runny shit? It’s sure to put everyone off everything!

fakefags.jpgWhy not just show 30 second ads of goatse man with a big caption saying “Smoking causes prolapsed anuses!”

After all, anything’s fair game in the war against free will. Why stop at mildly repulsive images when there’s so much sick shit out there?

Indeed, why not force our fucking eyelids open and make us watch people being shot in the face while listening to Beethoven’s 9th?

In the meantime, the time may finally have come where people actually have a good reason to go out and buy some of these speccy pro-smoking labels. Get them quick, while they’re still legal!

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