Archive for February 8, 2004

Greatest Prank Ever

February 8, 2004

There’s mindless pranks, and there’s pranks that give inspiration to all that hear of them. Here’s one of the second kind:

Four youths from Canberra, Australia, pulled off a trick of breathtaking bravado in order to gain revenge on a mobile speed camera van operating in the area. Three of the group approached the van and distracted the operator’s attention by asking a series of questions about how the equipment worked and how many cars the operator could catch in a day.

Meanwhile, the fourth musketeer sneaked to the front of the van and unscrewed its numberplate. After bidding the van operator good-bye, the friends returned home, fixed the number plate to their car and drove through the camera’s radar at high speed – 17 times. As a result, the automated billing system issued 17 speeding tickets to itself. Go Aussies!!

Dead Set Legends.

via Kev Gillett

All Hail King Niall

February 8, 2004

Today’s Niall update comes courtesy of cunning linguist Marc Miyake:

The ‘ardrigh’ in Cook’s URL (www.ardrighs.com) is an archaic spelling for Irish ard r? ‘high king’. Righ is cognate to other Indo-European r-words dealing with kings: rex, regal, royal, Reich, and Sanskrit raajan ‘king’.

Hail Niall, lord of the idiots!

Update: Niall does a sweet Strongbad impersonation. DELETED!

Love-Hate Mail

February 8, 2004

It’s a surprise to me that I don’t get more hate mail. I’ve only really had about 5 angry emails since I started this blog over a year ago. Usually it makes very little sense, but at least the sender has a good reason to send it: They hate me!

Some people obviously have nothing better to do with their time. Take a look at this one I received from James Pasquali:

Your article is correct. However, you write like a child and are obviously not well educated, as evidenced by your style. Where did you “learn” to write. Go back to your English professor and get pointers. I am shocked that you have a nice column like this. Do you really get money for this? Keep up the good work, but please refine your technique.

James likes my work, but nevertheless felt compelled to write to me tell me how shit I am. I bet he’s the life of the party!

For James and any others out there who need further information, I’ll break the email into its components in order to explain myself. (Shit! Was that a run-on sentence? I’m paranoid now)

Your article is correct. Thanks, dude! Which article did you mean?

However, you write like a child and are obviously not well educated, as evidenced by your style. Where did you “learn” to write. I believe that’s a question, despite the lack of a question mark. To answer your (probable) question, I learned to write at a public school. So perhaps you’re right!

Go back to your English professor and get pointers. I asked my English professor for help with my grammar, but all he wanted to talk about was refugees and how Bush knew about the 9-11 attacks in advance!

I am shocked that you have a nice column like this. Me too! They let absolutely anyone post on the internet these days!

Do you really get money for this? What part of this web site leads you to believe that my “articles” are “columns” that I’m paid to write? Rack your brain to remember the name of the newspaper this “column” appears in.

Keep up the good work, but please refine your technique. I’ll get right on it! And by that, I mean “Suck my balls, dipshit!”

If he likes my column so much, why take the time out to write and let me know how shit it is? What a waste of fucking oxygen. NEXT!