Archive for February 18, 2004

Hey, Gallop!

February 18, 2004

Just letting you know, the Aircon is still on here.

Get fucked,

Mufti An Idiot: Report

February 18, 2004

Mufti of Australia and New Zealand, Taj Al-Din Hamed Abdallah Al-Hilali, is a giant blithering idiot, not to mention a terrorist sympathiser who should have been deported years ago.

Upon meeting some Aboriginals with Islamic names, Al-Hilali has come to the conclusion that Australia was discovered by Muslims!

The strange thing was that when our muezzin [who accompanied Sheikh Al-Hilali on his visit to Alice Springs] stood up to call for prayer, the old people of the town came out, and so did men and youths, and they looked different than the black Aborigines. They were a mixture of Afghan and Aborigine, as a result of marriages of Afghan men and Aborigine women. When the muezzin called ‘Allahu Akbar,’ they said, ‘We have heard this song from our ancestors…’ When they asked us ‘What is this song you are singing?’ we told them that this was an announcement of prayer time. When we asked them their names, they answered John, or Steve, but their names ended with Saraj Al-Din, Abdallah, or Muhammad…

I wonder if there’s another, less retarded explanation?

The Taliban Had It Right All Along!

February 18, 2004

Remember how stupid it was when we read that the Taliban in Afghanistan banned everything from shaving beards to flying kites? Well, ye doubters, it seems they were just trying to look after the people, like those friendly munchkins who put warnings on cigarette labels.

Up to nine people have been killed and dozens injured during an annual kite-flying festival called Basant in the Pakistani city of Lahore.


Aircon Update

February 18, 2004

5:17am, Aircon still running on full! Civilisation collapsing! Cats and Dogs, living together!!!

Latham Lines

February 18, 2004

First, we had “Latham’s” ladder of opportunity

Now, we’ve got “Latham’s” showbiz for ugly people

What’s next for Mark the magnificent?

Mark Latham’s observations on the inevitability of death and taxes?

Mark Latham’s advice to never a lender or borrower be?

My sources tell me that Latham’s working on a song. Something about a lady who’s sure that all that glitters is gold, and may possibly be considering purchasing some method of ascending into heaven. Quite the talent, that Latham.

Martial Law Imminent In WA

February 18, 2004

The weather is a constant 40c and the air is full of moisture. A violent monsoon strikes at 7pm, but is gone a half-hour later. Citizens, sweating in their homes, are commanded by the administrators to operate only those appliances which are necessary for survival. The government threatens those who disobey with hefty punishments.

Suharto’s Indonesia?

Communist Vietnam?

No, fellow travellers. It’s just good old Western Australia, where the black kids have a curfew and air conditioners are BANNED.