Archive for February 2004

Not On Your Spuds

February 21, 2004

For all of you who have been tormented by the “Irish Virus“, never fear:

The Irish Virus is a hoax and it should be ignored. The following is a sample of the hoax message:

Greetings, You have just received the “IRISH VIRUS”. As we don’t have any programming experience, this Virus works on the honour system. Please delete all the files on your hard drive manually and forward this Virus to everyone on your mailing list. Thank you for your cooperation.

You can all switch your PCs back on now.

New Blog, New Blog

February 20, 2004

Up and coming Right Wing Death Beasts Martyk, Vikki McNaughton, Mike Jericho and Scott from Randomprose have joined forces and joined the Gravett server in a new group blog named “The Rat Pack“. That leaves Tim Blair, Myself, Tony and Adam as the only bloggers on the planet not currently using Gary Gravett’s server space.

Asylum Watch

February 19, 2004

Steve Edwards reports on some innovative new tactics for getting a US green card.

MORE than 30 Australians have sought asylum in the US.

At least two Australians have been granted asylum in America after complaining they faced religious, racial or political persecution in Australia.

Four other Australians await the outcome of US asylum applications.

They must really hate cricket.

Hey, Gallop!

February 18, 2004

Just letting you know, the Aircon is still on here.

Get fucked,

Mufti An Idiot: Report

February 18, 2004

Mufti of Australia and New Zealand, Taj Al-Din Hamed Abdallah Al-Hilali, is a giant blithering idiot, not to mention a terrorist sympathiser who should have been deported years ago.

Upon meeting some Aboriginals with Islamic names, Al-Hilali has come to the conclusion that Australia was discovered by Muslims!

The strange thing was that when our muezzin [who accompanied Sheikh Al-Hilali on his visit to Alice Springs] stood up to call for prayer, the old people of the town came out, and so did men and youths, and they looked different than the black Aborigines. They were a mixture of Afghan and Aborigine, as a result of marriages of Afghan men and Aborigine women. When the muezzin called ‘Allahu Akbar,’ they said, ‘We have heard this song from our ancestors…’ When they asked us ‘What is this song you are singing?’ we told them that this was an announcement of prayer time. When we asked them their names, they answered John, or Steve, but their names ended with Saraj Al-Din, Abdallah, or Muhammad…

I wonder if there’s another, less retarded explanation?

The Taliban Had It Right All Along!

February 18, 2004

Remember how stupid it was when we read that the Taliban in Afghanistan banned everything from shaving beards to flying kites? Well, ye doubters, it seems they were just trying to look after the people, like those friendly munchkins who put warnings on cigarette labels.

Up to nine people have been killed and dozens injured during an annual kite-flying festival called Basant in the Pakistani city of Lahore.


Aircon Update

February 18, 2004

5:17am, Aircon still running on full! Civilisation collapsing! Cats and Dogs, living together!!!

Latham Lines

February 18, 2004

First, we had “Latham’s” ladder of opportunity

Now, we’ve got “Latham’s” showbiz for ugly people

What’s next for Mark the magnificent?

Mark Latham’s observations on the inevitability of death and taxes?

Mark Latham’s advice to never a lender or borrower be?

My sources tell me that Latham’s working on a song. Something about a lady who’s sure that all that glitters is gold, and may possibly be considering purchasing some method of ascending into heaven. Quite the talent, that Latham.

Martial Law Imminent In WA

February 18, 2004

The weather is a constant 40c and the air is full of moisture. A violent monsoon strikes at 7pm, but is gone a half-hour later. Citizens, sweating in their homes, are commanded by the administrators to operate only those appliances which are necessary for survival. The government threatens those who disobey with hefty punishments.

Suharto’s Indonesia?

Communist Vietnam?

No, fellow travellers. It’s just good old Western Australia, where the black kids have a curfew and air conditioners are BANNED.

Aww, Diddums…

February 17, 2004

CONTROVERSIAL spin bowler Muthiah Muralitharan is considering boycotting Sri Lanka’s winter tour of Australia – and perhaps sacrificing a world record – in protest against hostile Australian crowds.[…]

“Before I bowl every ball they’re calling me no-ball,” said Murali

Stop chucking it then!