Archive for March 2004

Save Our Sunset!

March 16, 2004

As a resident of Scarborough, I’ve been watching with great mirth as the resident NIMBYists get all their knickers in a twist about the concept of further redevelopment at the beachfront.

Scarborough, as I’ve mentioned before, is WA’s premier beach and a destination for a great many tourists. Rendezvous’ Observation City hotel is the only high rise building in the suburb, and the block it is situated on is the centre of nightlife in the area.

Numerous companies have put forward proposals for more hotels and apartment blocks on the foreshore. Obviously the residents are up in arms, but not for the reasons you’d expect. It’s not the threat of environmental degradation or unregulated capitalism that’s got them upset. Rather, they’re worried about losing their ocean views.

I received a pamphlet in the mail last week from the “Save Our Sunset Coastal Action Group” encouraging us all to do the right thing and oppose the development. Scarborough, they say, could end up like the next Gold Coast!!11!

The next Gold Coast, eh? Gee, wouldn’t that be awful? Everyone’s houses would double in price, there’d be lots of stuff to do at night, and the place would be filled with Japanese office ladies on their yearly holidays.

Sounds absolutely shithouse!

And by that, I mean I hope they build so many skyscrapers I can’t even see the sun.

SOSCAG can’t seem to understand that most people in Scarborough don’t HAVE ocean views anyway. There’s a bloody great hill right next to the beach that nobody can see over. You’re talking about 2 streets worth of homeowners that might actually have something to lose from redevelopment. Most of those places will probably increase in price anyway. Somehow, I doubt their protest will amount to much.

Photo Of The Day

March 16, 2004

That’s Rob Corr, finally seeing the light.

Beer Drinkers Are Stupid

March 16, 2004

Tim Dunlop’s in fine form lately. In one post he reveals the results of Shane Warne’s IQ test, and simultaneously accuses the right of being a bunch of hypocrites – with zero evidence:

It would be wrong not to mention the fact that cricket’s idiot savant, Shane Warne

Since Shane’s never been IQ tested to my knowledge, I can only assume that Tim’s assessment of him is based on his lack of cultual nuance. After all, Shane eats baked beans, drinks domestic brand beer (rather than EXPENSIVE WINE) and doesn’t mind a shag here and there. People like that are everything that’s wrong with Australia.

They’re the same morons who probably agree with those redneck refugee policies and go to the pub instead of the theatre!

We’ve also got Tim’s assessment of Scott Wickstein, who is accused of the heinous crime of claiming cricket is a team sport.

Scott, as we know, tends to dress right politically, but like a lot sports fans seems to have an pronounced socialist streak when it comes to sport: extolling the virtues of community over individualism; accepting measures like salary caps to level the playing field between rich and poor clubs; supporting massive government subsidies for such things as the Institute of Sport, stadium construction, sporting scholarships and the like, not to mention regulation such as the anti-syphoning laws.

Scott, as just about everyone except Tim is aware, has no such support for socialist sport policies. Neither, to my knowledge, do any of the right-leaning bloggers.

Haven’t you ever watched the footy show, Tim? Eddie McGuire keeps all us idiots informed on the socialist evils of the AFL salary cap and draft in every episode. And, as we’re too stupid to think about it ourselves, we all agree with Eddie.

So come on, who are these mythical right-wing hypocrites supporting the salary cap and the Institute of Sport? Maybe it’s that moron army of Shane Warne supporters again, marching through the streets with their VB and Winnie Blues. Troglodytes.

PETA :(

March 15, 2004

Reason magazine coined the great term “reductio creep” to describe the process in which counterarguments’ conclusions, previously considered absurd, are now enthusiastically embraced by the people you are trying to argue against. The standard example is lawsuits against fast food companies for making people fat – once considered a reductio ad absurdum of efforts by smokers to rid themselves of personal responsibility, these lawsuits have now actually taken place.

There’s a related phenomenon, in which groups do or say things so utterly self-ridiculing and inarguably stupid that any attempt to parody them is rendered pointless. Pilger reached this nadir with his appearance on Lateline a few days ago… and now PETA, well….

Enough rambling from me. I think you’ll find this speaks for itself.

Ooga Booga

March 13, 2004

Jurassic Park for real?

Police in Papua New Guinea have been ordered to search part of a remote island after locals reported seeing a giant dinosaur-like creature roaming the area.

Villagers on the island of New Britain reported seeing a 3m-tall, grey-coloured animal with a head like a dog and a tail like a crocodile.

One woman said she saw the creature in a marsh just outside the provincial capital Kokopo on the eastern end of New Britain. “I heard the people talking about it and went there to see for myself. Its very huge and ugly looking animal,” she said

Or perhaps Phillip Adams is on holiday?

Suck Shit Sri Lanka

March 13, 2004

Hey, you rely on the biggest cheat in world cricket to win your games for you, then prepare the most atrocious pitches possible to help him out. I’d be lying if I said I felt sorry for you when it comes back to bite you on the arse.

In related news. How good is Shane Warne? If you don’t think he’s the biggest legend in history, then you should be deported. It’s that simple.

Ride On The (Religion Of) Peace Train!

March 13, 2004

My money’s on Al Qaeda for the Madrid Bombings, if for no other reason than it will make the topic of this post even more cycnical. Do you like it? I thought of it whilst playing pool at the pub tonight, listening to Cat Stevens AKA Yusuf Islam. Also, it’s not likely that ETA would do it and then deny responsibility. Kind of defeats the purpose, really.

Boring US States Turn 200

March 10, 2004

200 years ago today, The United States formally took posession of the land bought from Napoleon in the “Louisiana Purchase“. The cost of the land worked out to less than 3 cents per acre. Good negotiators, those Yanks.

Rock Star Will Hung

March 10, 2004

For any of you who are wondering what happened to American Idol contestant William Hung, well he’s now the most popular male asian celebrity since Bruce Lee, and the proud recipient of a new recording contract:

The singer, who became a fan favorite ? but not a judges’ favorite ? during open auditions for the Fox series with his spirited version of Ricky Martin’s “She Bangs,” has signed a deal with Fuse Music Network and Koch Records.

His debut album, tentatively titled “The True Idol,” is scheduled for release April 6, it was announced Monday. It will contain “She Bangs,” along with another Martin hit, “Shake Your Bon Bon,” and a cover of Elton John “Rocket Man,” which Hung sang recently on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show.”

He even has his own website.

Conclusive proof that reality TV is melting your brain.

What, No Lashes?

March 9, 2004

Our friendly neighbours to the North just got friendlier:

Couples caught kissing passionately in public in Indonesia could spend five years in jail.

Members of parliament in the world’s most populous Muslim country have proposed an anti-pornography bill that includes a ban on kissing on the mouth in public.

“I think there must be some restrictions on such acts because it is against our traditions of decency,” said Aisyah Hamid Baidlowi, head of a parliamentary committee drafting the bill.

Heavy kissing could carry a maximum penalty of five years in jail or a $29,000 fine. Anyone caught flashing would face similar penalties.

The bill also proposes bans on public nudity, erotic dances and sex parties, with jail terms ranging from three to 10 years. Watching such shows could lead to two years behind bars.

Does this apply to drunk backpackers in Bali? Once upon a time, you could drink 10 bintangs and pash some ugly German bird at the Sari Club and the worst that would happen is that your mates would give you shit about it. Now you could end up in the clink. I’m sure the tourist industry will love this one.