Archive for April 22, 2004

It’s Footy Season

April 22, 2004

Eddie Murphy Was Right

April 22, 2004

Doctors in Romania are treating a 28-year-old whose penis exploded while he was making love to his girlfriend.

Osama Is An Arsenal Fan

April 22, 2004

British police have foiled a terrorist plot to detonate suicide bombs at this weekend’s English Premier League soccer match between Manchester United and Liverpool, according to British press reports today.

Tuesday’s Sun newspaper claimed that 10 people arrested in anti-terror raids had been involved in a plan to target United’s 67,000-capacity Old Trafford stadium on Saturday.

I’m not particularly knowledgable about England’s demographics, but I was under the impression that Manchester has a fairly high concentration of Muslims. Wouldn’t it be better to blow up somewhere where there are LESS muslims and MORE infidels? Or is it just a case of “kill as many people as you can and let Allah sort ’em out”?

I wouldn’t want to be head of security at the SCG or MCG today.

Afterthought: First Madrid, now Manchester. What’s the link? Beckham. I recommend we ship him off to Gitmo just in case.

Still No Apology From Howard

April 22, 2004

It was only a matter of time before some smart-arse came up with a play on John Howard (Prime Minister) and John Howard (Actor).

SHE might have lost out on the Gold Logie on Sunday – but Seven has learned the hard way that viewers still love Georgie Parker.

The scene in which actor John Howard swears at Georgie Parker’s character
The network yesterday received hundreds of complaints about Tuesday night’s episode of the hospital soap All Saints in which a character swore at the character of nurse Terri Sullivan, played by Parker.

Radio talkback programs were flooded with listeners upset at the language.

“The issue seems to be that you don’t say ‘f…ing’ to their golden girl,” a network spokesperson said yesterday.

The offending comment was made by former SeaChange star John Howard, who joined the All Saints cast in Tuesday’s episode as Frank Campion, the head of the hospital’s emergency department.

During an heated argument about staff members with nurse Terri at the end of the episode, Campion said: “It’s not your f…in’ staff.”

Last night Parker said that she believed the reaction was a positive thing.

“It’s a good response because it’s not about the shock words – we’ve sworn on the show before – but because people clearly feel really protective about Terri,” she said.

“It’s like they really feel for her as a character and don’t like her being under attack by a very confronting man.

“It’s great to know they care for her so much.”

Asked if she thought John Howard’s character would say sorry, Parker said no.

Nyuk Nyuk. Next week on All Saints – Georgie Parker has a wardrobe malfunction. Blue rinse riots expected.

Pub Gaming – Australia’s Shame

April 22, 2004

All around Australia, pub, nightclub and RSL punters are surrounded by gaming machines. These devices provide a bit of cheap thrill in exchange for your hard earned cash. Cash that could be better spent feeding your family or saving towards the accumulation of assets.

Many of my friends are addicted to them. Night after miserable night is spent feeding coins into the machines, one after the other. Just one more crack, I feel lucky! Sometimes they have a win, but more often they go home a loser, with all their coins retained by the evil machines. Nothing to show for it – except the memory of the adrenaline coursing through their veins.

The money stolen by these machines isn’t even given back to the public, but instead the greedy corporations responsible keep the whole lot, even using it to construct sweat shops in South East Asia to build more of the insidious things. The whole dirty process is sickening.

I am talking, of course, of coin-operated pool tables. Poker machines? We don’t have those in WA. What are they like?