Glen Jakovich Is A Fuckwit

One of the truisms of football is that Glen Jakovich is not only one of the most overrated players ever to pull on the boots, but also a gigantic crybaby. How he managed to get his contract extended for season 2004 is a mystery to just about everyone, but he’s making the most of his fame while it last, because this time next year his car accessory ads will be his sole source of income.

With that in mind, Jakovich has released a book about himself. Could there be a less interesting person in the world to publish a biography?

In the book, Jakovich claims that Mick Malthouse, while coaching the Eagles, punched him the face at half time to fire him up. Aww, poor Glen. Malthouse was simply living the dream of millions of football fans who’d like to do the same thing.

The other “bombshell” is that Jakovich believes that the 2000 “demolition derby” was a result of a premeditated Fremantle strategy to physically upset the Eagles. Obviously, Gardiner punching on with Pavlich before the first siren and Phil Read attempting to king hit people all day had nothing to do with it.

I haven’t read Jakovich’s book, and it’s safe to say I never will, but there seems to be a theme here: Jako doesn’t like to fight. That’s probably why he chose to slap Trent Croad in the face in last years derby instead of punching. Or perhaps his limp wrists aren’t capable of forming a fist.

Jako has also come out previously and stated that the suggestion that footy players use recreational drugs is rubbish. Which, as everyone knows, is so wrong it’s not even funny.

Players are using drugs Glen, they just don’t tell you about it because they don’t want dickheads like you to come to their parties. What were Ben and Mikey doing with John Kizon? Getting tips on the dishlickers? You’re a moron.

I hate Jakovich and I hate West Coast.

The underachieving Eagles won 2 premierships in the 90s with a list that should have won 5. Perth never shut up about the fucking Eagles for a whole decade, even though they played the most boring brand of football ever seen before or since.

I barracked for Essendon until 1995, for no other reason that they were the team the Eagles seemed to hate most, so they seemed alright by me.

Nowadays, of course, I barrack for Fremantle. That’s not the end of it though. I also consider myself a die-hard fan of whichever team is playing the Eagles in that particular week. Even if it’s Collingwood. If North Korea put a team in the AFL coached by Kim Jong-Il, I would definitely barrack for them when they played West Coast. That’s how shit they are.

Jakovich is the last remaining player from the dark old days of 1 team in Perth. Once he’s gone, hopefully the footy-challenged retards who think 2 West Coast premierships were indicative of their “strong club culture and loyal supporters” can just shut the fuck up. For ever.

The good news is that Jakovich is a “certain starter” in this weekends derby. According to him. Whether or not he gets a game is another question, because he’s probably the worst player in the AFL at this point in time.

If he does play, I hope he is horribly injured and ends his career in pain, in a wooden spoon year for the Eagles. Also, if Ben Cousins and/or Michael Gardiner would like to join him, that’d be just grrrreat.

Oh Wait, Gardiner already did! HAHA!

Fuck you Jakovich, and fuck you West Coast, I hope you lose by 35 goals.

The end.

Explore posts in the same categories: Greatest Hits, Sport

18 Comments on “Glen Jakovich Is A Fuckwit”

  1. WCE3155 Says:

    You are an absolute dickhead! You personify fremantle supporters, and are the reason everyone hates them!

    You are uneducated and idiodic!

    Grow the fuck up.

  2. Troy Says:

    And the dockers have not underacheived, 1 final series since 95′. You are a dumb shit, and must have the most pathetic excuse of a life ever. Jacko us an all time great. You needed to support other teams during the 90’s because you knew freo had no chance. Clearly you have taken enough interest to know what is in the book so somuch for not reading it dickhead

  3. Steeley Says:

    you are an idiot. I go for bloody collingwood, yet i would go for eagles over fkn shockers anyday!!! yu guys dont even know the meaning of AFL, piss off to the WAFL why don’t ya .. oh no .. wait a minute .. THEY WONT EVEN EXCEPT YU!!!! and did yu know that docker supporters are known as the rudest, harshest most biggest assholes in the history of AFL. Go all eagle supporters, yu legends!! at least yu have won a premiership .. unlike the dockers .. they suck and should get out of the AFL!!! BUGGER OFF!!!

  4. Criddle Says:

    go suck a dick.

  5. Criddle Says:

    i can safely say carlton has succeeded

  6. winnie Says:

    Four years best and fairest, all Australian, hall of fame inductee… and is now a successful fox commentator and Gardiner is playing as good as ever..

    I’d say you have no insight whatsoever

  7. Knobbo Says:

    Yobbo: Definition: Australian male wearing stubby shorts, chesty bonds singlet, flanelette shirt open, thongs, with a mullet. Probably unemployed, lazy, drunk and with a vocabulary of only slang words.
    Fcknell mate, a dingo stole my baby!!!!

  8. rick Says:


  9. Sam Ward Says:

    He covered himself in glory today while commenting West Coast, didn’t he?

    Worse than a barracker in the other, and made about as much sense. The fact that he has a media contract is baffling.

  10. Anna Heiner Says:

    Fucken wanker!! And the Dockers? Their achievements? Talent, no talent? Fucken good on the eye was the Glen Jakovich. Tell me arsehole, do you now where glasses? I don’t.

  11. Shannon Says:

    You are a fuckin champ. How’s the retard now with his special comments, just mumbles like the cave man he is.

  12. Hari Says:

    You are a fuckwhit yourself. At least Glen played in the afl. I would love to meet you do I could punch the fuck out of you. Glen is a close friend of mine.

  13. ss Says:

    dockers…….useless!! still no silverware.. fans?? criminals, hookers, pimps, retards.

  14. asshole Says:

    mate your a dickhead, he has accomplished more than you.

  15. Slayer Says:

    Limp wrists wrote this bitchy crap, you’re a.FUCKTARD mate.

  16. Tosser Says:

    You’re all fuckwits

  17. Paul maes Says:

    Mate you are a true donut puncher Glen jackovich is a legend thats why he is inducted into the hall of fame so go suck ass ass whole

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