Archive for April 2004

No Riots Tonight – Lets Cruise For Chicks

April 27, 2004

A hard night on the piss last night ended with a doner kebab from “Peter’s By The Sea” and the 10 minute walk home. About 100m ahead of me, a young woman was also walking home.

As I crossed West Coast Highway, a marked patrol car pulled into Manning Street, approached the girl, and the cops inside offered her a lift home. She happily accepted.

Was I a threat, or were they just being chivalrous?

Slow crime night?

Why didn’t they offer me a lift?

At least they weren’t doing 130 through a multanova in KKK Hoods, I guess. I wonder if they got a root…

Equal Eating Time

April 23, 2004

Remember the loser who decided to pig out on McDonalds for a month and give up exercise in order to prove that McDonalds food was unhealthy? Many people called bullshit on his story – which it pretty much was.

The problem with the experiment is that McDonalds offers a large variety of foods with a wide range of nutritional values. Some meals contain a lot of fat and calories (Like a supersized Quarter Pounder with Cheese) and others contain very little (Like the Caesar Salad). Experimenter number 1 just went right ahead and ate supersized Quarter Pounder meals all the time, while simultaneously giving up exercising. Unsurprisingly, he put on weight.

The Competitive Enterprise Institute’s Soso Whaley has set out to provide a counter-example to Spurlock’s. Whaley’s terms? She’ll monitor her calorie intake and try everything on the menu at least once. No food at all except McDonalds.

So how is it going, half way into the experiment?

So far, I believe I have achieved my goals and expect to feel the same way on April 30. I feel healthy and energetic; I?ve lost 5 pounds, and I am not bored with the menu. This has become a very fascinating project, because it has allowed me to explore my own food issues and heightened my awareness about intelligent consumption. That?s what personal responsibility is all about.

Amen.

The experiment is still ongoing. Check it out the whole story.

Drugs, Again.

April 23, 2004

A mini-meme has surfaced again regarding the war on drugs in the US and Australia. Michael Jennings links to a paper detailing the history of the legality of Marijuana in the US. Ken Parish adds his own comments here. A related debate is currently ongoing in the comments box of Alan Anderson’s post here. I’ve added my own comments there, and once again link to Cato’s analysis of the war on drugs.

It’s Footy Season

April 22, 2004

Eddie Murphy Was Right

April 22, 2004

Doctors in Romania are treating a 28-year-old whose penis exploded while he was making love to his girlfriend.

Osama Is An Arsenal Fan

April 22, 2004

British police have foiled a terrorist plot to detonate suicide bombs at this weekend’s English Premier League soccer match between Manchester United and Liverpool, according to British press reports today.

Tuesday’s Sun newspaper claimed that 10 people arrested in anti-terror raids had been involved in a plan to target United’s 67,000-capacity Old Trafford stadium on Saturday.

I’m not particularly knowledgable about England’s demographics, but I was under the impression that Manchester has a fairly high concentration of Muslims. Wouldn’t it be better to blow up somewhere where there are LESS muslims and MORE infidels? Or is it just a case of “kill as many people as you can and let Allah sort ’em out”?

I wouldn’t want to be head of security at the SCG or MCG today.

Afterthought: First Madrid, now Manchester. What’s the link? Beckham. I recommend we ship him off to Gitmo just in case.

Still No Apology From Howard

April 22, 2004

It was only a matter of time before some smart-arse came up with a play on John Howard (Prime Minister) and John Howard (Actor).

SHE might have lost out on the Gold Logie on Sunday – but Seven has learned the hard way that viewers still love Georgie Parker.

The scene in which actor John Howard swears at Georgie Parker’s character
The network yesterday received hundreds of complaints about Tuesday night’s episode of the hospital soap All Saints in which a character swore at the character of nurse Terri Sullivan, played by Parker.

Radio talkback programs were flooded with listeners upset at the language.

“The issue seems to be that you don’t say ‘f…ing’ to their golden girl,” a network spokesperson said yesterday.

The offending comment was made by former SeaChange star John Howard, who joined the All Saints cast in Tuesday’s episode as Frank Campion, the head of the hospital’s emergency department.

During an heated argument about staff members with nurse Terri at the end of the episode, Campion said: “It’s not your f…in’ staff.”

Last night Parker said that she believed the reaction was a positive thing.

“It’s a good response because it’s not about the shock words – we’ve sworn on the show before – but because people clearly feel really protective about Terri,” she said.

“It’s like they really feel for her as a character and don’t like her being under attack by a very confronting man.

“It’s great to know they care for her so much.”

Asked if she thought John Howard’s character would say sorry, Parker said no.

Nyuk Nyuk. Next week on All Saints – Georgie Parker has a wardrobe malfunction. Blue rinse riots expected.

Pub Gaming – Australia’s Shame

April 22, 2004

All around Australia, pub, nightclub and RSL punters are surrounded by gaming machines. These devices provide a bit of cheap thrill in exchange for your hard earned cash. Cash that could be better spent feeding your family or saving towards the accumulation of assets.

Many of my friends are addicted to them. Night after miserable night is spent feeding coins into the machines, one after the other. Just one more crack, I feel lucky! Sometimes they have a win, but more often they go home a loser, with all their coins retained by the evil machines. Nothing to show for it – except the memory of the adrenaline coursing through their veins.

The money stolen by these machines isn’t even given back to the public, but instead the greedy corporations responsible keep the whole lot, even using it to construct sweat shops in South East Asia to build more of the insidious things. The whole dirty process is sickening.

I am talking, of course, of coin-operated pool tables. Poker machines? We don’t have those in WA. What are they like?

Rollin…In My 5.0

April 21, 2004

An disgraceful miscarriage of justice today in the US, with Bender magazine naming Starship’s “We built this city” as the worst song of all time. A shit song, to be sure, but does it really stack up against “Ice Ice Baby” or even “Achy Breaky Heart”?

Vanilla Ice got off light, only finishing 5th, but the real winner (or at least, the lessermost of a giant stack of losers) was Celine Dion, whose awful Titanic song only just snuck into the countdown at #50. It deserved a lot worse than that.

Newsflash: Murali Chucks

April 20, 2004

Renowned English stump smasher Chris Broad has decided that Murali’s action is indeed suspect.

CONTROVERSIAL Sri Lankan off-spinner Muttiah Muralitharan has been reported for throwing but can still claim the world record for the greatest number of wickets.

Murali was reported by match referee Chris Broad during the final day of the third Test, which Australia won by 121 to take an historic 3-0 clean sweep of the series.

Next week I’m expecting the ICC to comment on the hue of the sky. Early tips are that it’s blue. Stay tuned.