Archive for June 9, 2004

Thanks For The Donation

June 9, 2004

A Yobbo’s View sends a big thank you to one of our sponsors.

Miss Cameltoe 2004

June 9, 2004

With all the hoopla about that Aussie chick winning Miss Universe, the indiscretions of Canada’s entrant almost went unnoticed. Almost.

Robert Mugabe: Ideas Man

June 9, 2004

Super news from Zimbabwe!

PRESIDENT Robert Mugabe’s government announced plans today to nationalise all Zimbabwean farmland after forcing more than 5000 white farmers off their properties in an often-violent redistribution program.

Title deeds to all productive land will be cancelled and replaced with 99-year state-issued leases, the state-run Herald newspaper reported.

“In the end all land shall be state land and there shall be no such thing as private land,” Land Reform Minister John Nkomo was quoted as saying.

What a novel idea. I wonder if it will work?

Higher Education Under Threat

June 9, 2004

In what could prove to be the greatest threat to tertiary education since the invention of the funnel, Australia’s finest scientists have come up with Goon-In-A-Can.

WE’VE had it in bottles, flagons and casks – now get ready for wine in cans.

Barokes, a range of wines in 250ml aluminium cans, will go on sale in New South Wales in September for $3.99 each.

Launched in Japan and Taiwan 18 months ago, Barokes canned wine is the brainchild of Melbourne entrepreneurs Greg Stokes and Steve Barics.

Curing cancer is great and all that, but these two men have dedicated their lives to getting asian chicks drunk. We at A Yobbo’s View applaud their efforts.

A Simple Plea

June 9, 2004

For the love of god, can you guys at the ALS fix your bloody server. Thanks.

What’s Your Poison?

June 9, 2004

Andrew Bolt utilises a novel argumentative trick in his oh-so-emotive appeal to ban pokies. This trick I like to call “Allude to your own hypocrisy, then just completely ignore it and keep on charging through in the hope that nobody notices”.

That’s why the pokies’ wheels keep whirling, the lights keep strobing and the noiseboxes keep making sounds like some bursting piggybank is just about to vomit into your lap.

But back come those rugged individualists, back from telling children why no one is stopping mum from sending all the family’s money down the slot.

“Yes,” these dead-hearts jeer, “next you’ll be saying we should ban Tatts tickets as well. Next you’ll be making us lock up every pub because some people are alcoholics.”

Hmm, is that an idea for a sozzled nation? But, no, let’s not get sidetracked.

Indeed, let’s not. To get sidetracked would mean admitting that the same anti-pokies argument he uses applies equally to any so-called “vice”, whether that means alcohol, sportsbetting or anything else.

Do these blind self-pleasurers know why we want to close the pokies, and not the horse racing, for example, or the scratchies? It’s because the woman jailed last month for stealing didn’t lose that $1.6 million on the horses, but on the pokies.

It’s because the boss of a trauma centre who was jailed the week before for stealing didn’t lose that $570,000 on Tattslotto, but on the pokies.

It’s because the mother of three who was called a pathological gambler by a judge in March didn’t drop her stolen $584,000 on the dogs, a raffle or a game of blackjack, but on the pokies.

Of course, plenty of people do lose hundreds of thousands of dollars playing Tattslotto, or whatever form of Lotto you have in your state. As a gambling form, state run lotteries offer the worst return you could possibly get. Over the course of their lives, millions of Australians waste hundreds of thousands of dollars playing Lotto. Dollars that could be paying off a house or car, or buying food for their poor children.

Additionally, the consumption of alcohol causes more damage to families, more deaths, more loss of productive hours and takes more money out of the pockets of poor children than any vice mankind has ever known. Let’s not get into that, though, because it would invalidate Andrew’s entire point. And, of course, we all know that prohibition of alcohol doesn’t work. Just like prohibition of gambling doesn’t. Let’s not forget who invented “Lotto” in the first place.

I hear people sternly lecture the chronic gamblers that it’s all their own fault, and why should decent, responsible gamblers be deprived of a flutter just because some people are too weak to stop when they’re already broke.

Oh, such bracing individualism. Tell it to the gamblers’ hungry kids, maybe. Tell it to their harried wives or husbands, trying to hide the family grocery money somewhere safe.

Tell it also to the kids of alcoholics as well, Andrew. As with gambling, most people who drink do so within the means of their income, without it adversely affecting their household finance. Most. There are plenty of families out there struggling because Dad spends half his paycheck at the pub on Friday night. Unlike the demon drink, pokies rarely end up in mum getting a flogging or in cars getting wrapped around trees.

This article is one of the worst I’ve seen in a while in terms of cherry-picking. To isolate pokies over all the other so-called “social ills” really makes very little sense. The only real difference between pokies and most other forms of gambling is their prevalence. Most other forms of gambling are still banned outside of licenced casinos. Even so, they’ll never be able to match it with Lotto in terms of the money spent by households Australia-wide.

So come on, Andrew, out with it: Why should pokies be banned while alcohol, tobacco, lotto, rock and roll and short skirts are allowed to continue their destruction of the moral fabric of society?

We Begin Blogging In 5 Minutes

June 9, 2004

Tech Central Station has a mass of articles remembering Ronald Reagan today.