Archive for June 16, 2004

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

June 16, 2004

A recent poll on the Australian Libertarian site asked the question: What is the greatest threat to our Liberty?

The clear winner? : Stupidity.

With that in mind, I’d like to take the chance to celebrate a couple of obvious exponents in this most pervasive of nouns. Only one of these is actually a threat to liberty, but they’re both pretty stupid.

First up, in a noble and successful effort to outdo Merlin for “dumbest. protest. ever.”, there’s this:

AN Indian mystic who vowed to spend a weekend buried underground to show his desire for world peace has died of suffocation.

Coming hot on its trail is this handy guide on how to make heroin – from the seed to the needle. Probably not “stupid” on its own merits, but when the publisher is the US Department of Justice? Talk about making life hard for yourself.

If we can have a war on nouns like “Drugs” and “Terrorism”, then surely a war on Stupidity is long overdue.

Save The Krill!

June 16, 2004

Mangled Thoughts have finally developed a social conscience, and have decided to lead the charge in the Save The Krill campaign.

If you’d like to help out, send Australian currency to us here at Gravett.org. If you are poor, never fear: Simply harpoon a whale, sell it to your nearest Japanese exchange student, then send us the cash! Simple. (As a guide, whale meat retails for about $30 a kilo).

Stop the genocide! Save the Krill!

And, as always, please think of the children!

We, thus, turned our attention to whale meat. For older generations of Japanese, whale meat elicits fond recollections. I myself remember having whale meat in school for lunch. We conducted a study by interviewing mothers who had given whale meat as a substitute food to their children suffering from allergies. The results convinced us that whale meat was an excellent food for treating allergic disorders.

Unfortunately, since commercial whaling has been banned, whale meat is no longer readily available to the general public. We tried various possibilities, but it was very difficult to obtain good-quality whale meat at a reasonable price.

Save The Krill! And The Allergy-stricken kids! And Meet Japanese Exchange Students! Yum.

Merlin Useful After All

June 16, 2004

Thanks to the incredibly popular Merlinbot, we can now use him to succinctly convey all manner of inconvenient truths that probably aren’t worth a post all to themselves. Like this!

Not Studying Law

June 16, 2004

A student who admits downloading material from the internet for his degree plans to sue his university for negligence.

Michael Gunn claims his university should have warned him his actions were against the regulations.

When investigating what action to take against the university faculty, the test to use is “What would Bluto do?”. Launching a ridiculous suit that you’re obviously going to lose doesn’t pass that test. Leading a horse into the dean’s office then firing a starter’s pistol? Well, it’s probably not going to help you pass either, but it’s just as effective and a lot funnier than a frivolous lawsuit.

Bad Cops Bad Cops

June 16, 2004

Watcha Gonna Do?

About 60 people arrested last year in a prostitution sting will not be criminally charged because Maricopa County sheriff’s deputies used tactics including nudity and sexual contact in their undercover operations, county prosecutors announced Tuesday.

Wait until Steven Bochco hears about this.

Qantas Still Sucks

June 16, 2004

The ongoing farce that is the Australian government’s support of Qantas is a continual source of misery to all of us. Another story on Crikey regarding Qantas today – their frequent flyer program is increasingly becoming a joke. Racking up points is easier than ever – but actually using those points to fly anywhere? Good luck.

Hopefully, when my archive is restored, I will be able to introduce all you new readers to this blog’s historical opinions on Qantas. There has been no Garrett-style flip-flopping here.

Thoughts On Gun Control

June 16, 2004

I’ve left some fairly lengthy comments in this post about gun control on Catallaxy. I can’t be bothered copying it across here so go read it there if you want. Jason has also responded in a new post.

I WANT YOU To Shut Up

June 16, 2004

Not willing to lie down after being exposed as a liar by Jim Treacher, propaganda artist and fake veteran Micah Wright has attempted to get one back.

First, he circulated an email saying that Treacher and Kevin Parrott are the same person! After that stunning accusation was proved false, he has fallen back to simply labelling him a stalker. Apparently, just shutting the fuck up never even occurred to him. Strange.