Bad Ass

Apart from the extreme boredom, the biggest disadvantage of my job is that if for some reason I can’t work due to illness or injury, I can’t force someone to give me free money.

This never really worried me before (most of my lost work days are because of my lifelong battle with chronic laziness), but I now seem to have sustained a work-related injury – as unlikely as that may seem.

Due to sitting at my computer for 12-14 hours a day I have bruised my coccyx, and now it is extremely painful to sit for anything longer than 5-10 minutes at a time, which means I can’t play poker at all.

Regardless, the damage to my undercarriage is nothing compared to the greatest workers’ compo claim of all time, which undoubtedly goes to Melvin (father of Mario) van Peebles:

Infamously, when funds ran low, Van Peebles made extra money by applying for worker’s compensation after he contracted gonorrhea when filming one of the film’s numerous hardcore, unsimulated sex scenes. The scheme paid off, and Van Peebles used the money to further fund the project.

Sweetback was made for $150,000. Melvin van Peebles used non-union cast and crew (including casting then 13 year old Mario in a sex scene), and threw the S.A.G. off by pretending to be making a porn film (which they didn’t want to be associated with). The movie made over $10million in the end, a profit margin which would make even the most ruthless Chinese sweatshop owner proud.

BAADASSSSS!, the story of the making of Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song, is currently showing on Showtime (my injury thankfully doesn’t preclude laying on the couch). See if it you’ve got the chance – but before you do so, any tips on how to make sitting down more comfortable would be appreciated.

Explore posts in the same categories: Entertainment, Personal

11 Comments on “Bad Ass”

  1. Joseph Libson Says:

    Get one of those donut shaped pillows.

    Or order dodgy generic prescription painkillers off of the internet.

  2. rat Says:

    what about one of those seats where you are kneeling and not much weight on your butt?

  3. nick Says:

    Nurofen 200-400mg three times a day, with food or milk – cease if you get ‘stomach pain’ or black stools😎 Otherwise, if you can identify the tender point with a finger and light pressure – apply topical nurofen gel, generously, and cover with gladwrap (cheap) or transparent waterproof tagaderm (expensive), and let the gel do the work. If no improvement in 2 weeks – see that Asian doctor of yours, who will blame it on alcohol.

  4. The Feral Abacus Says:

    Bad luck! Had a similar injury years ago, and it took months to heal. As nick says, Nurofen gel will give effective relief for an hour or two. Feldene gel is also good. I didn’t bother with gladwrap, as the gels are absorbed easily. Weekly acupuncture worked for me – might be worth trying. Have you checked that your computer chair is OK?

  5. Tex Says:

    Get a kneeler chair. They work wonders

  6. Angie Says:

    OT — didn’t realize you were back! Last time I checked this blog was out of commission. Yay!🙂

  7. Darlene Says:

    I hate to say I empathise, but I do.

    About the job and the injury.

  8. adrian Says:

    How about converting to a laptop with Wi fi ? Can be used laying on the couch.

  9. Andjam Says:

    Last year, you said

    “I don’t think [prostitution is] wrong at all. In fact, if I was a girl I’d definitely be a prostitute. I’ve looked all my life for an easy job that pays ridiculously well. They’re a lot harder to find if you’re male. Just ask any prostitute or stripper in Australia what they make an hour. It’s about twice what the average worker makes in a day”

    and I asked

    “Who says males can’t be prostitutes? An increasing number of males are interested in males, and some women earn enough money to pay for non-essentials.”

    Did you reply?

  10. yobbo Says:

    I can’t remember Andjam. I think there are more obstacles for guys:

    1) Male prostitutes don’t actually get paid very much.

    2) Don’t see many wanted ads for them, whereas I know of at least 15 brothels in Perth where a girl could waltz in off the street and apply.

    3) Girls pretty much only have to pretend they like it. If they don’t find the guy attractive (which is likely) a bit of lube and some fake moans does the trick. You can’t fake an erection. Something like 0.5% of guys who try out for porn can actually perform the job on camera when required, I’m sure it’s probably easier without all the harsh lighting and observers but I imagine that doing the deed with someone you find very unattractive (or if you just aren’t in the mood at all) is a lot harder for us than it is for the female of the species.

    4) Your target market (whether you are talking about servicing women or gay men) is more picky about looks. To be attractive enough to be a stripper or hooker you pretty much only need to be in the right weight range and know how to apply makeup (which most girls know already). Some of the strippers I’ve seen down at the local pub here are truly horrible, but men being men will pay to see them anyway.

    I’m way too ugly to be a Gigolo. If a woman propositioned me I have no doubt I’d give it a crack (just for giggles), but none has ever offered to pay.

  11. Andjam Says:

    Ta.

    At risk of being slightly off-topic, some Australian brothels are now offering discounts for petrol dockets. It’s a wire article, so people around the world will read about it.

    Some local articles add a Howard angle. Let’s not go there…


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