You Couldn’t Pay People To Live Here

“The Arse End Of The Anglosphere” may be this blog’s official title, but it’s not really any secret that Perth is the arse end of the entire world. If you’ve been reading this blog for any amount of time you’ll have seen numerous reasons why.

How bad? When John Howard announced a potential incentive to NSW jobseekers of $5,000 to move to WA, The West Australian asked for some responses:

The West Australian dangled the relocation carrot in front of a dozen locals as they emerged from the Centrelink office in Liverpool, which the Government singled out yesterday as a target suburb with a jobless rate of almost 10 per cent.

Almost all had the same reaction: $5000 is not enough to pack up and Go West. Why would anyone want to go that far away? What about their families? What if they got to WA and lost their jobs? Why don’t they get workers from overseas?

“It must be a pretty bad job if you can’t get anyone to do it,” said Brett, who had been out of work for three months and said he would “do pretty much anything” for a job, except move to WA.

Pretty much anything is a lot of things. He’d rather suck a cock than move to WA. He’d rather eat shit than move to WA, rather stick a needle in his eye. You get the picture. It’s not an uncommon sentiment.

Several people were so strongly opposed to the idea of being paid to move to WA that their reactions could not be printed.

They must really hate the place over there. The funny thing is that while Sydneysiders don’t seem to like Perth, Victorians move over here in their thousands every year. It must be the warm weather.

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25 Comments on “You Couldn’t Pay People To Live Here”

  1. HisHineness Says:

    The funny thing is that while Sydneysiders don’t seem to like Perth, Victorians move over here in their thousands every year.

    If I lived in Victoria, I’d go any-fucking-where else I could get to if it meant leaving the joint.

  2. gaz Says:

    I wield to no-one in my contempt for Perth, but I can’t say I’m dissapointed by the reaction of these people. The last thing this town needs is more rat faced bogans.

  3. IrisFlavia Says:

    Are you kidding? I would give a lot to live in Perth! I give a lot of money (and time!) just to come over for xmas cause I´m missing it so much! You are lucky to be able to live there – we can trade if you like! 😉
    If it wasn´t so darn difficult for european people to make it, I would be in Perth for years now. Come here and see our weather. The coldest August for years. Whoeee and wait for winter – the ugliest, frozen, long and very dark time to come. While you can run around in shorts and enjoy life!

    Hang on! It´s even better! You can indeed pay me to life in Perth – yay!!!! 🙂
    YES, you can! We´d both be lucky. You have someone to pay to life at the arse end of the anglosphere and I would be the happiest person living in one of the most beautiful places in the world!
    Yes. Let´s do it!

  4. Hammy Says:

    Brett is from Sydney remember. That has to be taken into account. Not that we want a cockroach infestation of his kind anyway. People with a Sydney-like attitude can stay there.

  5. Matt Says:

    Perth is terrible, please don’t come over i can hear gun shots in the background as i type this now. We have cannibals on the streets, our women are fat and ugly and steal our food, we have terrorist camps popping up everywhere!

    So stay over east…

    Trust me, Perth does not want nor need these people, Shit I am sure we’d pay $5000 for people to stay where you are. A dole bludger is a dole bludger no matter where they live so keep out of the “arse end of the world”.

  6. IrisFlavia Says:

    Too late. 🙂 Flights and cabin are booked and paid – and I´ve been in Perth several times before and looooved it (apart from the opera-singer in the city… is he still there? The poor staff in the shop there.. they had to hear that all day long, day after day…).
    To the women… hmmm – when have they grown fat? And what is a bludger? Sorry I don´t know that word – Aussie-slang?

    Ugly… I don´t live in that town, but ´ve been there, too. Come to Hannover if you want to see an ugly town! Or Duesseldorf, huhhh.

    Wanna see a beautiful town over here? Come to Brunswick http://www.braunschweig.de/english/index.html !

  7. hc Says:

    I always enjoy visiting Perth – great city – but have only stayed for a week or so – several times have thought of moving there but family ties in east etc. I guess I don’t have your advenurous lifestyle options Yobbo. A lot of weeks my most exciting choice is where I go to do the shopping. So I couldn’t give a damn if that is in Melbourne or Perth.

    I thought that the economic boom in WA would be dragging quite a few people in. I am surprised Howard needs to offer incentives.

    Perth has a great climate, good beaches and country scenery. The people aren’t much but I am very broad-minded and you can use always your imagination.

  8. Guy Says:

    Perth is a great place to grow up relatively safe great climate and open spaces. The problem is that when you do grow up there is nothing to do.

    The government seems content to make it boring. They refuse to tolerate any activities that involve anyone having any fun they would ban all alcohol and gatherings for anyone under 30 if they could. I am just amazed that they have not cancelled any other big events in Perth recently the Perth Cup and other events should watch out.

    The upside to this is that hopefully we will not have any more crabs from over east because it is so boring I would rather have more Kiwis over here than dole bludgers from over east.


  9. Well the Perth-haters have got their heads up their bums, I say. My sister lived in Perth for ten years and married a man from Derby. I always enjoyed my visits and still have a large number of friends in WA. And poxy state governments that want to regulate everything they can lay their fingers on is a problem all over Australia – not just WA.

  10. yobbo Says:

    If you love it so much why dont you move here? Is it because its a nice place to visit but a shit place to live maybe?


  11. Do you know of any legal jobs going Yobbo? I’m committed here until the end of 2007 but am always looking at options.

  12. yobbo Says:

    Im sure all our crooked cops will ensure lots of work for lawyers for many years to come 🙂

  13. gaz Says:

    Hanover and Dusseldorf were extensively firebombed in the war. What’s Perth’s excuse?

    And I think you may find that your shopping options are slightly more limited in Perth than in Melbourne Harry.

  14. Orpheus Says:

    Yeah, full time jobs and shopping don’t really mix in Perth, unless you want to join the teeming hordes on a Saturday.

  15. Scott Says:

    Shit, I’ll move to Perth for five grand. But then I live in Adelaide….

  16. sdfc Says:

    The people of WA overwhelmingly rejected extended trading hours by referendum, if you don’t like it you’ve got options.

  17. yobbo Says:

    If you don’t like shopping after 5pm, don’t go shopping. It’s not hard.

  18. tmz_99 Says:

    A lot of the jobs avaiable are in the resource sector, ie: working away, then coming back to Perth. In that situation you have a week to a month to do nothing BUT shop, or travel, or whatever… Perth is an ideal place to work.

  19. yobbo Says:

    That might be true tmz, but the majority of people in WA still work 9-5 like everywhere else in the world.

    WA recently voted against Extended trading hours AND daylight saving, both of which are accepted as good things everywhere else in the developed world. It just goes to show the special kind of morons we have living here.

  20. Hugh Says:

    Liquor licensing laws are another bugbear for some of us Perth locals. Do your bit to get some action happening on this matter if you want to.

    http://www.goodbyedullsville.com

  21. yobbo Says:

    Hugh, I want to have your baby.

  22. ozrisk Says:

    Yobbo,
    I moved back from the UK where I had been for 7 years. Not for the weather, not for the trading hours, not for the liquor laws – but for the schools. Putting my girls through pommie schools would not have been an option. We may be at the arse end, but we have good schools (if you pay for them). The ones run by the state government are not the greatest.
    The career move was not the best though. In my area, the jobs are few and far between.

  23. Me! Says:

    The reason why Sydneysiders aren’t keen on moving out of Sydney is because they’re used to living in their own filth down there. Meanwhile, the Victorians are seeing the benefit of spreading their scum to WA and QLD, where the rest of us have to put up with their whinging about how hot/humid/slow Qld is and that there’s not enough shops/resturants etc etc etc. Go to Tasmania I say. Then you’ll be thankful we let you all in!

  24. meh Says:

    $5000? I heard of grads fresh out of uni being offered $90,000 salaries at WA. If that’s not enough money, I can’t believe the government is throwing an extra $5000 into the mix. Holy crap, that is so much money. But still, to leave behind family and friends who refuse to go with you, it’s not enough..

  25. steev Says:

    I was in Perth WA. March 2003. I live in Sydney. I seriously considered moving to Perth several times.
    The sand is beautifully white but most beaches are narrow with deep water. Coastal living is fantastic but inland (more than five kilometres or so) is depressing.
    The coastal area of Perth (up to 30 k’s inland approx.) is all sand with a limestone bedrock.
    There exists an aboriginal inhabitant destructive mischieviousness around central areas.
    Drugs are now targeting the relaxed, friendly, naive youth of Perth and indoctrinating them to the belief that:
    1) The Government is f**cked.
    2)Everyone is insured against loss.
    3)The strong take, the rest get the crumbs.
    It is, I believe, against the law to comment adversely about multiculturalism but it does play a part.
    In short, Perth is a very remote city. Unless you have the ability to buy into an area situated on the coast, think very carefully before you take the plunge, you may take a bath.
    Yours Sincerely,
    steev


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