Archive for December 2006

Best. Christmas. Ever.

December 27, 2006

I must have been really good this year because Father Christmas bought me just what I always wanted. A small party on a friend’s farm was the plan for Christmas eve, but the plan quickly changed when the girls mentioned that the next house down the road had a group of backpackers staying there who were stuck without a car or somewhere to go.

I volunteered for the mission. Imagine my surprise when I found this – in the middle of nowhere on Christmas Eve…

Merry Xmas

December 23, 2006


Bowled Shane

December 21, 2006

So Warney is going to retire after the boxing day test. Cricket will never be the same without him. Here’s a look at some of the best wickets of his career.


December 20, 2006

Thanks to The Sun, I now have a new adjective to describe crap like this.

I Give Up

December 19, 2006

It’s extremely sad that something that is a fairly standard promotion elsewhere in the world makes front-page news in Australia:

A NIGHTCLUB party where bikini-clad women can drink as much as they want for free has been slammed as unsafe, disgusting and demeaning.

Rape crisis counsellors and alcohol experts said the party reduced women to sexual objects and exposed them to the risk of extreme intoxication and sexual assault.

Exposing yourself to extreme intoxication is the whole point of free drinks. As for wearing a bikini exposing you to sexual assault, didn’t we try to deport some dude for saying the exact same thing a few months back?

This party will of course be banned by the fun police (ludicrously referred to in the article as “alcohol experts”).

This country is fucked.

Update: Even Communist China doesn’t ban Ladies Night.

Update II: Party cancelled.

Don’t Drink And Drive

December 19, 2006

Wait for 4 hours in a nightspot patrolled by drunken, violent idiots for a taxi that never comes instead!

Snatching Victory

December 18, 2006

Our cricket match on Saturday was the scene for one of the greatest comebacks in suburban cricket history. Chasing 191, we came back from 6/66 to win by 1 wicket.

Take special note of #11, A. Ahmed, who came out with 39 runs required for the last wicket and made 33 not out. In his first game of 1st grade. Unbelievable.

Reverse Agony Aunt #2

December 13, 2006

I need to buy a new (used) car. I am planning to spend about $2,000 to $3,000 on this car. Unfortunately the only thing I know about cars is that the one I currently have is buggered.

Any car-knowing people shall now please advise me what would be the best kind of car I could get for this amount of money.

My requirements:

1. It should be big enough for me to sit in. That rules out anything Corolla-sized or smaller. 2L 4 cylinders like a Camry or 626 are fine though.

2. It should work good and for a long time.

3. It should look grouse.

Go crazy with the advice.

Update: Also, if you live in Perth and would like to sell me your car for a bargain price feel free to tell me about it. I will pay cash on-the-spot.

What Were The Options Again?

December 12, 2006

Congressman Silvestre Reyes is confused:

Reyes stumbled when I asked him a simple question about al Qaeda at the end of a 40-minute interview in his office last week… The dialogue went like this:

Al Qaeda is what, I asked, Sunni or Shia?

“Al Qaeda, they have both,” Reyes said. “You’re talking about predominately?”

“Sure,” I said, not knowing what else to say.

“Predominantly — probably Shiite,” he ventured.

Reyes is the new head of the House Intelligence Committee.

Citizenship Tests Are Meaningless

December 12, 2006

Australian Citizenship is meaningless to most people.

Australian citizenship gives you, in order of importance:

1. An Australian Passport, which in terms of travel is one of the most valuable passports available.

2. The right to continue residing in Australia even if you commit a serious crime.

3. The right to vote for the Socially Democratic, Tax and Spend party of your choice.