Concerned Busybodies Want Coca Cola Ban

This post is rated R18+ for sickening nanny-statism. Send your kids to bed before reading.

GOVERNMENT’S have been urged to consider banning the sale of caffeinated soft drinks to children following new Australian research showing caffeine only increases addictiveness.

And yet haven’t been urged to send newspaper journalists to remedial apostrophe classes.

A Melbourne study, published in the most recent issue of international research journal Appetite, found caffeine added to cola-based drinks did not enhance flavour, but did increase their addictiveness, adding to childhood obesity problems.

Study co-author, Deakin University’s Russell Keast said his findings were “absolutely conclusive” that people could not detect the caffeine flavour added to cola-based drinks.

But he said children might find themselves becoming addicted to the caffeine, without realising it.

“It’s a problem for children,” he said.

I seem to be detecting a common theme. Perhaps we should consider banning children instead, before they usher in a new era of totalitarianism?

Explore posts in the same categories: Nanny-Statism, Politics

18 Comments on “Concerned Busybodies Want Coca Cola Ban”

  1. AD Says:

    Nanny Statism, what an appropriate term!

    These “funding seeking academics”, whose quest in life is to produce very dubious research papers to support the politically correct line that the “Nannies” are pushing with their broom sticks. I wish they would all fly away.

    This research is based on a very small sample of 30 people, I have no doubt that they had trouble finding 30 people who would partake in this dodgy experiment. No doubt the few participants that they were able to recruit were predisposed to the eventual finding.

    A phrase constantly heard in the university sector is “publish or perish”. The general public are not interested in these fraudulent publications but fascinated on how they could perish, arsenic is highly recommended.

  2. Stamford Arms Stalwart Says:

    If theres no coke, what will drink bourbon with?????

  3. Mark Hill Says:

    I used to drink up to and over 30 litres of carbonated drink a week.

    No harm done, I was much fitter then than I am now.

    I was a child. Should I sue Mum and Dad for child abuse?

  4. JC Says:


    30 liters. Jeesh. No 1/2 measures there.

    Key words:
    Melbourne, Deakin, Governments. Put those words together in a sentence and you end up with a soft drink ban. It’s quite frighening what these boobheads can think up. We’re running out of water too. So what are we left to drink?

  5. hc Says:

    Does Keast also seek to ban tea, coffee and chocolate? The only case for an outright ban of something is if the marginal social cost of use at very low levels exceeds the benefits. This might be true for heroin (might not too!) but isn’t true for caffeine.

    I think kids should be encouraged to drink water from a tap when they are thirsty not soft-drink. I think there is a case for banning high sugar soft srinks in schools – parents can’t monitor behaviour then,

  6. yobbo Says:

    They can monitor spending quite well though, by not giving kids money to buy junk food with. That’s what my parents did.

    “When you get a job you can buy all the Pies and Choc Milk you like. Until then you are having a salad roll for lunch”. etc.etc.

  7. […] Concerned busybodies want coca-cola ban – Sam  ‘Yobbo’ Ward has a point. […]

  8. hc Says:

    So in relation to kids at school Yobbo you support the idea of parents not giving kids money to buy anything but oppose the idea of banning softdrinks. I guess this leaves open the possibility that some parents think their kids are better-off with the softdrinks and want to buy such.

    I think its easier just to ban softdrinks entirely in school canteens and to arrange for the parents who think their kids are better off with softdrink at school to have publicly-funded brain surgery. It wouldn’t cost much as I think there are no such parents.

    Softdrinks have huge sugar concentrations and many kids treat them as the way your body gains fluid. If they do drink water it too must come from a bottle. This is stupidity driven by commercial interests and kids should at least be made aware of it.

  9. Orpheus Says:

    It should be up to the school to set their soft drink policy. I know that my old school (which sold Coke and whatnot) has since stopped doing so. They surveyed parents and made the decision based on that.

    As for comparing banning smoking to banning soft drinks, there’s a difference. When you smoke in your car, your kid is forced to do so as well. Noone is strapping the kids down and pouring Coke down their throat – they choose to do it themselves.

  10. Sacha Says:

    Banning children sounds fine to me. Then we don’t have to pay for schools nor baby bonuses.

  11. yobbo Says:

    HC: You might think I’m crazy but if a parent wants to treat their kid to a can of coke once or twice a week at school it’s probably not going to kill them. So yes, I think the decision should rest with parents rather than the government.

    I actually did get to drink the odd can of coke when I was growing up and didn’t grow into a 200kg behemoth so I think my parents got it pretty much right without any help from either government or school authorities.

  12. Tim K Says:

    G’day Sam, Just been viewing the old coke ads from the late 70’s thru to the early nineties on youtube. Great logos such as “Coke is It!” and “Coke adds Life”.

    None of the actors were fat and why??? Cause they were all outside getting fresh air and exercise playing inside a giant coke bubble or an inflatable coke can off the beach. Not sitting in front of the tele playing fucking Nintendo. When will people wake up???

  13. Mark Hill Says:

    “None of the actors were fat and why??? Cause they were all outside getting fresh air and exercise playing inside a giant coke bubble or an inflatable coke can off the beach. Not sitting in front of the tele playing fucking Nintendo. When will people wake up???”

    Let’s put Mario, Bowser and that Princess on ice. Sue Nintendo!

  14. Patrick Says:

    Actually I like seeing fat people. They did what they know is stupid and they suffer for it. It’s like watching skateboaders fall off. Good fun.

  15. If you want to see some true Nanny Statism – look at this site for a £2.5m campaign to teach the Scottish – How to Wash their Hands :

    (HT to Mr Eugenides

  16. Frenchie Says:

    These academics really do have a good point. Why the hell is caffeine in soft drink? It is there to get you addicted. I was addicted to Coke Zero, and yesterday I decided I didn’t want to be addicted to it anymore. So I stopped cold turkey and was hit with a painful headache for six hours and pains in the stomach. I also woke up three times early in the morning with similar symptoms. Keep the soft drinks. Ban the caffeine. Ban soft drink in schools. When I was in high school I drank 1.5 litres of coke a day, just because that is what we all did. I switched to Pepsi Max when I went to uni and lost 24kg over a year with relatively little exercise. But my addiction to caffeinated cola had to stop yesterday. I hope I can make it. And I hope no kids need become addicted like I was when I was 13-18 years of age.

  17. Yobbo Says:

    war is hell, man.

    but giving up coke is hard too and stuff.

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