Archive for the ‘Political Correctness’ category

Uluru Is Hitler’s Driving Range

June 30, 2010

Various people being naughty….

THERE are renewed calls for the immediate closure of the Uluru rock climb after more photos emerged of controversial behaviour at the sacred site.

Football personality Sam Newman has been pictured hitting a golf ball off the rock, while another man was photographed naked on top of the monolith.

And the 21st century definition of racism rears its head:

NT Aboriginal leader and Central Land Council member Maurie Ryan said the behaviour on top of the spiritual centre was “racist”.

“That is an insult to the people of Mutitjulu, and Australia,” he said. “That is a very sacred site. This is racist.”

Racism: Anything which offends or annoys non-white people in any way

That’s Not A Knife

January 10, 2007

Not guilty, due to being a famous actor:

ABORIGINAL actor David Gulpilil has been found not guilty of carrying an offensive weapon after a judge accepted that the machete he produced during an argument was used for cultural purposes.

If that’s not the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, I don’t know what is.

I Give Up

December 19, 2006

It’s extremely sad that something that is a fairly standard promotion elsewhere in the world makes front-page news in Australia:

A NIGHTCLUB party where bikini-clad women can drink as much as they want for free has been slammed as unsafe, disgusting and demeaning.

Rape crisis counsellors and alcohol experts said the party reduced women to sexual objects and exposed them to the risk of extreme intoxication and sexual assault.

Exposing yourself to extreme intoxication is the whole point of free drinks. As for wearing a bikini exposing you to sexual assault, didn’t we try to deport some dude for saying the exact same thing a few months back?

This party will of course be banned by the fun police (ludicrously referred to in the article as “alcohol experts”).

This country is fucked.

Update: Even Communist China doesn’t ban Ladies Night.

Update II: Party cancelled.

Michelle Malkin With Pigtails

December 12, 2006

Also, something or other to do with politics or whatever. Did I mention Michelle Malkin with pigtails?

Ask And Ye Shall Receive

September 28, 2006

Gender equality could spell the end of female sports in Canada:

As two Winnipeg sisters find out Tuesday if they’ve made the boys’ hockey team at their high school, their recent human-rights victory has spurred boys to try out for girls’ sports teams.
“We have to see as a board what we want to do. Our big concern is how this whole thing could affect female participation in sport,” he said.

“If we get four guys or five guys going out for the [girls’] basketball team, there’s four or five females that won’t make the team — and I dare say a bunch of other ones aren’t going to compete — and we could end up with some female teams being made up of mostly men.

“We worked very, very hard to promote and build up female participation in sports,” Glimcher added.

“Everything that our organization has done … is based gender-equal. And if we all of a sudden get an influx of males participating, it could affect female participation and that would be a travesty.”

Yes, but the boys who might miss out on the hockey team in favour of girls can presumably go and get fucked? Where are all the people concerned about the boys who would obviously miss out on a spot in the boys gymnastics or diving teams?

Save The Krill!

June 16, 2004

Mangled Thoughts have finally developed a social conscience, and have decided to lead the charge in the Save The Krill campaign.

If you’d like to help out, send Australian currency to us here at If you are poor, never fear: Simply harpoon a whale, sell it to your nearest Japanese exchange student, then send us the cash! Simple. (As a guide, whale meat retails for about $30 a kilo).

Stop the genocide! Save the Krill!

And, as always, please think of the children!

We, thus, turned our attention to whale meat. For older generations of Japanese, whale meat elicits fond recollections. I myself remember having whale meat in school for lunch. We conducted a study by interviewing mothers who had given whale meat as a substitute food to their children suffering from allergies. The results convinced us that whale meat was an excellent food for treating allergic disorders.

Unfortunately, since commercial whaling has been banned, whale meat is no longer readily available to the general public. We tried various possibilities, but it was very difficult to obtain good-quality whale meat at a reasonable price.

Save The Krill! And The Allergy-stricken kids! And Meet Japanese Exchange Students! Yum.

Modern Racism

May 22, 2004

Hey, lefties! Sick to death of paranoid right-wingers droning on and on about “political correctness”? You’ll hate this then!

A MIGRANT from the Middle East who failed his test to become a taxi driver three times has complained of discrimination.

The man claims the pass mark is set too high.

He has unsuccessfully sat the test three times since November 2000.

The first time he failed all categories: English communication, map reading, maths and abstract reasoning.

But Equal Opportunity Commissioner Yvonne Henderson believes the man is a victim of discrimination and has referred the matter for a hearing at the Equal Opportunity Tribunal.

Apparently, the possibility that the man is too stupid to drive a taxi never entered anyone’s mind. 80% of Perth taxi drivers are from non-english speaking backgrounds. Perhaps those guys took the special, non-racist test?

If you can’t speak english or read maps, then perhaps you should seek work in an area of employment that doesn’t require a lot of map-reading and face-to-face contact with english-speaking people?

Just a thought.

And this Yvonne Henderson? She should be sacked for what is a ridiculously obvious case of wasting taxpayers’ time and money to advance a political agenda. What a disgraceful, shameless whore.

Even better, close down the whole commission. It’s obviously a waste of space.

I’m Cured!

February 2, 2004


10 years from now, you’ll go to open your packet of durries and be given a 10,000 volt reminder of the effects of smoking. Until we can raise enough taxes to implement that technology, we’re going to have to make do with these grotesque pictures of festering limbs and dissected organs on the packs.

There’s always been a problem with the anti-smoking TV ads that I couldn’t quite pinpoint. Watching the new ads today on the news, I realised what it is…

If you dissect a perfectly healthy lung on TV during dinner time, it’s still going to make everyone feel fucking sick looking at it! It doesn’t matter at all whether the lung has cancer cells in it or not – it’s still fucking gross.

Hey, if you want to gross us out, why not just show some full motion toilet-cam shots featuring a fat guy taking a runny shit? It’s sure to put everyone off everything!

fakefags.jpgWhy not just show 30 second ads of goatse man with a big caption saying “Smoking causes prolapsed anuses!”

After all, anything’s fair game in the war against free will. Why stop at mildly repulsive images when there’s so much sick shit out there?

Indeed, why not force our fucking eyelids open and make us watch people being shot in the face while listening to Beethoven’s 9th?

In the meantime, the time may finally have come where people actually have a good reason to go out and buy some of these speccy pro-smoking labels. Get them quick, while they’re still legal!

Dissent Uncrushed

January 22, 2004

The Israeli flag is back on his office door at ANU. Seems like their attempt at crushing dissent brought a little more heat than they could bear. Poor luvvies.

Anti-Fun Police Still Kicking

January 7, 2004

With the holiday season coming to an end, nanny-staters and fun haters all over Australia are tearing their hair out at the sight of people enjoying themselves.

The latest victims of their moralising are the soon-to-be unemployed “Beer Wenches” at the cricket. The wenches were first employed by “The Fanatics” last year and have caught on big-time around cricket grounds in Australia. But no more.

Police have been escorting the ladies out of the SCG on a regular basis. Unable to find anything illegal about wearing tight-fitting clothes and entertaining men, they have resorted to that old chestnut, the liquor control industry.

Yes, the ladies were in fact violating “responsible serving of alcohol” laws by supplying beer to cricket fans who may or may not have been a little tipsy already.

Back to Centrelink, girls.