Chucking It In

Good riddance to one of the worst cheats in the history of Sport.

I think we all know who I’m talking about.

World Cup Shorts 2

[lappy]i can imagine these north korean players return to north korea

[lappy]what was the outside world like

[lappy]great but there was this constant annoying droning

World Cup Shorts 1

Here’s an idea. Not a very good idea, but nevertheless an idea.

A South African doctor has developed a new anti-rape female condom that has been unveiled in time for the World Cup.

The Rape-aXe was invented by Dr Sonnet Ehlers, who plans to distribute 30,000 of the devices during the course of the World Cup, CNN reports.

The latex condom is inserted by the woman like a tampon, and features jagged rows of teeth-like hooks that latch onto an attacker’s penis upon penetration.

Once attached, only a doctor can remove the Rape-aXe and Ehlers hopes authorities will be on the scene during any potential removals.

Possible problems with this plan:

a: One of the major danger in being raped is that they will kill you afterwards, a condom won’t help that
b: The old “hooks in the penis” thing is probably only likely to enrage a rapist, making them more likely to kill you in any case
c: By the time this does anything, you’ve already been raped. It might help to catch the guy who did it but in most cases of rape that is rarely the issue anyway.

Since prevention is better than cure, might I suggest this instead?

Cricket Isn’t The 100m Sprint

I couldn’t agree more with this article panning the Anti-Doping commission intruding in cricket.

So much for the disease. What about the cure? WADA developed stringent and zealous procedures in the context of athletics, and rightly so. But one size does not fit all. To apply rules designed for athletics and apply them to cricket is disproportionate and potentially destructive.

God Talks To Jesus

Gary Ablett:

“For some time after it I used to worry about what people thought, until one day Jesus spoke to me and said, ‘Gary, most people don’t even know who they are, let alone who you are, so why should you worry about what they think?’

After that it gets weird.

Trigonometry Is Fun

On More Efficient Cheating

A piece of advice for Muttiah Muralitharan.

It’s plainly obvious that you cheat and everyone knows it. However, the ICC has decided that it’s ok to cheat if you are playing for a side that would otherwise be uncompetitive on the world stage.

So with that settled, why bother even pretending to bowl? Just take a chair and bash Ricky Ponting over the head with it, like they do in “professional” wrestling.

It’s got about as much to do with cricket as what you do currently.

Edit: Cheating Cheater Muricheateran.

We’ll Boo If We Want To

Australian Cricketers have been told to toe the line:

Don’t boo Murali, pleads Symonds

Andrew Symonds has implored Australian crowds to celebrate the feats of Sri Lankan spin wizard Muttiah Muralitharan if he eclipses Shane Warne’s world record this summer

A quick summation of Muralitharan’s notable feats:

1.) Taken more wickets against Bangladesh than any bowler in test history.

2.) Blatantly cheated for more than 10 years while somehow avoiding being thrown out of the game.

3.) Invented a delivery that is physically impossible to deliver without cheating.

While the second feat is quite remarkable, cheating doesn’t warrant any sort of celebration. Unless you meant a celebratory cry of “No-Ball!” every time he touches it.

Voss, Black, Gehrig, Lawrence

For those of you who missed it on the news.

Disgrace

How do West Coast fucking dare to wear the WA State Of Origin jumper in heritage round? Who the fuck do they think they are?

I hope their plane crashes someday real soon. That is all.