Sex For Hecs!

The latest in the “righteous indication from some idiot who just found out something that everyone with a brain already knows” news department is this revealing article on the stunning findings of Dr Sarah Lantz. Doctor of “Sociology”. You can stop reading there if you like, because you know what’s coming, but just for the hell of it, lets take a look at her findings.

UNIVERSITY students are working as strippers and prostitutes to pay for their higher education.

Haven’t they ever heard of the novel concept of “Deferring HECS Payments”?

A survey by Melbourne University lecturer Dr Sarah Lantz found at least 40 struggling students worked in strip clubs, escort agencies and massage parlours.

Now this may come as a shock to many readers, but I have previously been involved in recruiting strippers for various functions. At the prices they charge, you can rest assured that none of them are actually “struggling”.

Their jobs helped pay rising costs of upfront fees, books, research materials, photocopying, food and living expenses.

Upfront fees are not compulsory. If you’re broke, don’t pay them! My photocopying bill for last semester was about $2.80, and I don’t even know what “research materials” are. And let’s not forget “food and living expenses” because if it wasn’t for Johnny Howard and his evil HECS regime, food and housing would be free too!

About one quarter of the 120 women working at the Daily Planet brothel were uni students, earning up to $2000 a week, a staff member told the Herald Sun.

$2000 a week. What a struggle!

After working as waiters, doing bar work, telemarketing, cleaning, clerical work and babysitting, they entered the sex industry.

That is, they used to do actual work, but realised that being a hooker is not only a hell of a lot easier, but it pays better, you don’t have to pay tax, and night work is easy to get. Sounds like a great idea. If I was a chick, I’d be a hooker or a stripper. Or possibly both.

In fact, the government should increase Austudy payments to male students to compensate them for the fact that they can’t do the same thing. Life is so fucking unfair.

Dr Lantz, a sociology lecturer, said the cost of HECS and upfront fees was a major reason for students working in the sex industry.

Did I mention Dr Lantz is a Gigantic Moron? Because she is. In fact, she’s so stupid that they should strip her of her title. I grew up believing that doctors were smart people. She gives doctors a bad name.

She said most worked in strip clubs and brothels; however, three international students admitted working as illegal street prostitutes.

What kind of “international” are we talking here? And what street?

Some other students sold drugs or worked cash-in-hand jobs that avoided tax, she said. The survey found 85 per cent of the women lived below the poverty line.

Students work cash jobs because they are cheating welfare. If you get a paycheque, they take your Austudy away! Don’t you study sociology or something? Also, how the fuck do you live below the poverty line on $2000 a week? If that’s poverty, let’s have another great depression!

“They see it as fast money and flexible work,” Dr Lantz said. “These women are intelligent, articulate and have high goals.

Duh. They make $2000 a week doing sweet shit all. If I could find a way to do that, I’d consider myself pretty intelligent too. The only person smarter than the student hookers is Dr Lantz herself, because she’s managed to score a job doing even less and probably getting paid a hell of a lot more.

Most of the sex workers surveyed worked up to four days a week and wanted to leave the industry after they completed their degrees.

Four days a week! Someone call Arthur Scargill!

But Ms Fenson said many students got caught in the scene long-term.

And by caught up, what she means is that most of them are probably smart enough to work out that leaving a four day a week, $100k a year job for a shitkicker’s role in a call centre upon graduation is not exactly what you’d call career advancement.

National Union of Students president Jodie Jansen said some students turned to the sex industry because of the high youth unemployment rate and difficulty securing other types of jobs.

It’s certainly difficult to find other types of jobs that pay 100 grand a year and let you make your own hours. However, the particular demographic involved in this story remains eminently employable.

University of Melbourne spokeswoman Christina Buckridge declined to comment.

Probably because she was dumbfounded by the stupidity of the entire study.

Alan Anderson has an opinion too.

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